Sunday, July 22, 2007

My Old Haunts

Oh, yeah, I love dancing. I've been dancing since I don’t know when, it seems like forever. I go to the clubs and some cats, they just leave. They know about my abilities and they split. I keep up on all the latest dances, though my clothes are falling a little behind the times, and I wish there was more I could do about that.

I like to hit my favorite old haunts and check things out. Women are a lot wilder than I remember, sometimes for the good and sometimes they bring out the prude in me. I love the hip-hugger and low rider jeans. The tight shirts, the thongs, all that, is all good.

I can’t appreciate, however, the piercings and the tattoos just right above their butts...I can’t handle that. Then the clubs? Everywhere I go, it seems like they’re playing music from another planet. I can hardly keep up and most of it doesn’t sound like anything I was listening to, just yesterday.

The ladies love me, though. I don’t come there to hit on them or to drink: it’s strictly dancing with me. They don’t have to listen to a bunch of lines or nonsense. We get down on the dance floor and it’s cool.

And when we dance? I can’t even describe it, but I’ll try anyway. It’s kin-etic, it’s elec-tric, it’s as close to sex as we can get. Sometimes it gets a little freaky, but we keep our clothes on...for the most part. And when I touch them? The ladies shiver...they always shiver. I got that effect on them.

So I always wind it up at the Beat Box, because all that has changed over the years with clubbing, a few people still know of me there. It’s almost closing time and I’m still going strong, the ladies dig that.

Like this one tonight? She’s been going on about how she like my “retro” threads, whatever that means. I don’t know, it’s like sometimes we’re talking another language altogether, but whatever keeps the party going, you know?

She feels good during the slow dances, almost too good, you dig? But when the music picks up? She complains that she was working hard today and she wants to rest. That ain’t cool. So I know that there’s just one more dance to go before last call and she just turns her back on me. Not cool, I’m not dancing with that chick again.

“I’ll have a Seven and Seven.”

“I’m sorry, Lady. The last call is in two minutes and quite frankly, I think you’ve had a few too many already.”

“I’ve had only one drink all night.”

“Right, whatever. I still can’t serve you alcohol.”

“Well, let me have some mineral water and give the dancing fool whatever he wants.”


“The guy.”

“Who? What guy?”

“The guy I’ve been dancing with for the past thirty minutes.”

“Lady, you’ve been dancing with yourself all night long.”

“No, I was with a guy. He had retro clothes and old school hair. He looked like one of those disco guys.”

“Oh...Pierre, I think we’ve got another one.”

“Are you sure? Who?”

“This lady, right here.”

“What do you mean, “we got another one?”

“Did you dance with a guy in a blue polyester outfit and platform shoes? Did he have big, permed hair out to there?”


“That was-“

When things get odd, it's my cue to split.

I wait outside and she keeps me waiting thirty minutes...I guess, I’m not sure, because I don’t have a watch. Pierre is walking with her and I don’t know why. It’s not like I’m scared of him or that I have any problem just walking right up to her and touching her on the shoulder, right in front of...

“Ohhhh, shit!”

C’mon Pierre, be a man this time.

This is ridiculous.

Look at them running away, you’d thought that they had seen a ghost.


Well, like I said. Oh, yeah, I love dancing. And I lovvve to hit my favorite old haunts.


Beth said...

So glad you shameless self-promoted. I always forget to come here. And I loved the story, Mr. Writes.

Beth said...

I have now blogrolled you, so I won't forget.

And great title!

chelene said...

WP, I loved it! Thanks for linking today. I forget to come here too.

Writeprocrastinator said...


Thank you for the compliment and thank you very much for the link.


Thanks, glad you dug it.

Coaster Punchman said...

Write baby, I dig....

Writeprocrastinator said...


Cooool, Punchman, coooolll...

jewgirl said...

I read this a while ago and didn't comment for some dumb ass reason. it must've been a short bus day for katie.

love this yarn. love it. love it. love it.

Writeprocrastinator said...


A sheynam dank!

Princess LadyBug said...

Dude! That was awesome! I totally didn't expect that. You ROCK!

Writeprocrastinator said...


Thank you, I didn't expect either and I kind of surprised myself.

Madam Z said...

What can I say? I am one more fan who loved the story.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Madam Z,


Bubs said...

I love that! I need to keep up better. I loved that story!

Cormac Brown said...


Thank you much and you won't have to keep up, as I'll be posting a "Best Of" here and there.