Now skating at left forward for the Avs*...Michael Connelly?

Though I root for them, I really don't follow the San Jose Sharks. It's all one big exercise in frustration as every year they get to the playoffs and if they don't make an early exit, they won't make it past the Conference Finals and that's all, folks. So when I checked the Chronicle this morning to see what blockbuster deal that they hopefully pulled just before the trading deadline, all I could muster was a shrug as there were no recognizable names involved.


No, wait, I sit corrected. There was one name that was all too familiar to me, the Chron said, "San Jose also acquired Anaheim's 2013 seventh-round pick, previously held by the Avalanche, and sent minor leaguers Mike Connelly and Michael Sgarbossa to Colorado in the deal that came just before the NHL trade deadline."

Seriously? I mean, the guy can write like nobody else, but I would have to say that the only fifty-six year-old man that could play hockey at that age was Gordie Howe, and that was not at an NHL-level. So, we really got the better of that deal. Then again, long road trips would never be boring as he would certainly be the best raconteur in NHL history.

Of course you know that I'm kidding right? There's no way that the player and the writer are not the same...and if you don't? Well, do I have the investment opportunity of a lifetime for you! I'll be opening my chain of steakhouses in India, so all you have to do is email me your bank account information, and watch as the millions roll in.

BTW, the San Francisco Chronicle was kind of lazy with their fact-checking, as the player's name is Michael Connolly (NHL.com would know, right?).

*The Avs are the Colorado Avalanche.

Raymond, we hardly knew ya around here

Wait a minute, let me get this straight...Raymond Chandler was living in San Francisco, some three years before Dashiell Hammett? This wonderful tidbit was discovered by novelist, Mark Coggins.

Honestly, I don't think Chandler ever set a story here, and I cannot even remember a specific passage where he even bothered to mention San Francisco in passing. It's just as well, Los Angles, I mean Angeles is the city the Brit is associated with most.

"It's Chinatown, Robert"

The SF Gate/Chronicle had an interview with Robert Towne and he talked about his inspirations for the "Chinatown" script.

A couple of powerful flashbacks to the Los Angeles of his childhood persuaded Robert Towne to write "Chinatown."

One flashback came during a walk along the ocean in the early 1970s, when the quality of the light, the sea air and the smell of eucalyptus sent him into a reverie. "I remember thinking, 'I'm 11 years old again,' " Towne says, on the phone from his Los Angeles home to talk about the 35th anniversary of "Chinatown."

The other transporting moment was prompted by a newspaper article that focused on the 1930s and '40s Los Angeles of crime novelist Raymond Chandler and included photos of a period convertible at historic buildings.

"I'm very susceptible to the sights and sounds of the city," says Towne, who will turn 75 in November. "I realized all those parts of the city that I have loved and missed so much were still there to be had on film. I just needed the story."

He found his Los Angeles story in Oregon, where he'd gone with his friend and former roommate, an up-and-coming actor named Jack Nicholson, to appear in Nicholson's directorial debut, "Drive, He Said," released in 1971. Looking for a way to pass the time, Towne read Carey McWilliams' "Southern California: An Island on the Land," published in 1946. Still in print - "There's never been a better book about Southern California," Towne says - it contains a chapter about Los Angeles' infamous water scandal at the beginning of the last century, when shady if legal dealings allowed a core group of already wealthy men who controlled Los Angeles to become even richer by diverting water from the Owens Valley, 230 miles to the northeast.

Towne had his setting and his subject, and he and Nicholson wanted to make a classic murder mystery with contemporary sensibilities, a modern noir.

Click the purple to read the rest.

Wha, Kerouac wrote a crime novel? The war over his estate and six facts about him

Apparently Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs wrote a hard-boiled, pre-Beat murder mystery called "And The Hippos Were Boiled In Their Tanks." Amazingly enough, they alternated writing chapters and not surprisingly, the results were mixed. It seemed that had more to do with Jack being young at the time (twenty-three) and lacking life experience.

The purple link above and this purple link right here lead to the SF Gate (the SF Chronicle's site). The second link has an article concerning the war over Kerouac's estate which has lasted longer than any war that America has fought. It also has these six Jack facts-

1. Kerouac believed that his older brother Gerard, who died of rheumatic fever at age 10, was an actual saint, and in later life he often felt that Gerard was speaking directly to him from heaven.

2. Kerouac had the highest IQ in the history of Newport Naval Base at the time he was stationed there (1942), and because of it he was suspected of being a German spy. He was later discharged from the Navy for "angel tendencies," an early term for schizophrenia.

3. While docked in Greenland in the Merchant Marine, Kerouac traded his Horace Mann football sweater to an Eskimo for the Eskimo's handmade harpoon, which he saved all his life.

4. Later during World War II, Kerouac served on the S.S. Dorchester, on the voyage before it was sunk by German torpedoes with the loss of about 800 lives, including the famed Four Chaplains who gave their life jackets to others, as well as Kerouac's close friend, a black cook called Old Glory. Kerouac's life was saved by a telegram from Coach Lou Little calling him back to Columbia University to play football just before the Dorchester sailed again.

5. Kerouac loved to listen to, and would often scat-sing along with, Gregorian chants, which he called a "jazz Mass."

6. Contrary to the belief of '60s radicals like Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin, who thought him a hopeless redneck, Kerouac actually opposed the Vietnam War. But his reason for opposing it was unique - he claimed it was "a conspiracy between the North and South Vietnamese to get American jeeps."

Isabel Says "Think Teaching, Young Writer"

Author Joe Quirk's first book tour intersected with Isabel Allende's book tour, where she gave him some interesting advice-

Five minutes before we were due to go on the air, the fawners stepped away to confer.

Ms. Allende seized me by the arm and pulled me into a corner. She spun me around, leaned close, and whispered with desperate urgency as if this was Invasion of the Body Snatchers and we were the only two real humans left alive. I paraphrase her speech from memory:

"You will not make a living, young man."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing beats the feeling of your first novel getting so much attention, but get over it, starting now. You have to start thinking about how to use this. Nobody makes a living from royalties. It's not possible. It's rigged against you. You have to think of your book as a business card you hand to people who will pay you what you're worth. You have to think about speaking tours. You have to think about teaching positions. Get a list of universities, and start calling them now, because your publicist won't. Do you hear me? You have to be savvy. You have to hustle, because you will go under if you rely on book writing. I've seen it happen to talented writers over and over. You can't afford a house, you can't support your spouse, you spent too much of your advance. You seem like a nice young man. I don't want to see it happen to you. Are you listening to me? Do you understand?"

Here's what I didn't say, but thought:

"Excuse me, aren't you ... Isabel Allende? International bestseller? New book every year translated into 18 languages? Hellooooo! Earth to Isabel! You're a megastar! You obviously maintain a much higher standard of living than me, lady, because up until a couple months ago I was a part-time manny. I should have your problems!"


What I really said was: "Yes, ma'am."

Someone poked their head in the room and said, "Ms. Allende, you're on."

"We'll talk later," she said.

We never did.


Click here for the rest of the article.

Good stuff.

"The Book Versus The Kindle II: The Thickening"

Michelle Richmond's City Brights blog posted a link to the Green Apple Books blog, and the Third Round of the fight; "Book Versus Kindle."

For those with weak constitutions, you shouldn't click any of those links because this time it really gets ugly. The Book sends a hay maker that knocks most of The Kindle's teeth out, and then The Book threatens to eat The Kindle's children, and bites The Kindle's ear off (BTW, these are Mike Tyson references, if you're not familiar with boxing).

Usually I just scan over most of the comments on the SF Gate pages, there's plenty of angry nonsense to offend every sensibility and political affiliation. Yet one commenter Bicky, touched on a very good point that I believe no one has brought up yet-

I did spend an afternoon with my sister-in-law's Kindle. My biggest problems have more to do with my quirky reading habits. 1) I really like to see the entire two pages of an open book side-by-side so that my eye can jump back in the text if needed to, for example, remind myself of who that character who was just introduced. For a similar reason, I prefer sitting far enough from a movie screen to be able to take it all in without having to scan side to side.

"The Book Versus Kindle"

Hey on the same note as "Big Brother Has Got Your Nose."

Author Michelle Richmond posted a YouTube video filmed by Green Apple Books, in which the mighty book battles The Kindle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ-Y62GdYQA

And no, I never needed a doctor's note for a book, either. If you haven't read Seth Marko's list from the first link, you really should and if you dropped a book, would this happen?

Methinks not.

P.S. One David strikes back at Goliath.

Lighter Fare

Well right now I'm waiting on a response to a story and I have one that will be published before September, but other than that? The "W-I-P" pile is all over the place, literally.

The response to the older stuff is underwhelming, so I'll go with the usual standby-
(All the pictures are from the SF Gate's Day In Pictures)

Ocicat says, "I can haz Cormac Burger?"

I'm a native San Franciscan, so I'm fairly liberal when it comes to consenting adults doing what consenting adults do. Yet Hemingway impersonator on Hemingway impersonator love is like, well...



...yeah, that pretty much sums it up (shudder).

My neighbor Tonkatsu Kaki Fry: That idiot Cormac came home two minutes late again? One of these days he's going to be five minutes late and his wife will destroy the entire neighborhood!

And kids, what did we learn from "Ghost Busters?"

Dogs + Cats + Living Together = Disaster of Biblical Proportions!

The San Francisco Literary Map

For this Sunday's Chronicle, Ian Huebert created a San Francisco Literary Map...

...composed of quotes from the greats and near-greats. Click here for the full-sized map or here.

Instead Of Buying Books, How About Trading Them?

The Chronicle/SF Gate had an article recently about two book swap sites; Bookmooch.com and Paperbackswap.com.

Now this is a wonderful idea whose time has literally come, but towards the end of the article comes one of my main caveats-

Mooching is one thing. But lending - and expecting the book to return - may still not be advised for many a reader. Even Milner keeps her favorites from Jane Austen, P.G. Wodehouse or Henry James for herself.

"I only lend books," she said, "to people who I know really well and I know where they live."

"It's A Bird! It's...A Flock Of Books?"

No, no, put away that hair gel because it's not a "flock of seagulls," it's "a flock of books."





From The San Francisco Chronicle's SF Gate site-


"Language of Birds," a floating installation of 23 illuminated polycarbonate books at the corner of Broadway and Columbus avenues, has just been dubbed one of the best public artworks in America.


It was chosen from among 300 entries at the Americans for the Arts convention in Seattle last June.

Since it was installed last fall by San Francisco artists Brian Goggin with Dorka Keehn, the street corner has become focal point for art lovers and tourists.

The flock of twenty-three white translucent books are suspended from a web of stainless steel aircraft cables, and resemble birds in flight. The books are opened in various positions, which give the books the appearance of flying.

At night LED lights embedded within the books create visual patterns.

Goggin and Keehn worked with scientist David Shearer and Lawrence Ferlinghetti's City Lights Bookstore to provide solar power. The solar panels are mounted on top of the iconic bookstore, located half a block away.

The artists embedded words on the ground under the flock, to create the sensation that words had fallen from the pages. Working with shop owners and residents, the artists chose words from books that reflect the area's literary history, including works by Armistead Maupin, Gary Snyder, William T. Vollman, and Jade Snow Wong."

Well, I'll Have To Pass On Writing That Story

I'll preface this with Mark Twain's more famous quotes that amazingly, has rarely been attributed to him-

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.”

So I had this article in mind for a story.

My take on it was going to be that he had pics and lustful footage of a woman that had left him on that phone, and that the stuff on the cell phone was all that he had to remember her by. Then I thought, even if actually happened, most of the readers of that story would complain that it rang a little hollow or seemed fake.

Regardless, I really didn't have enough passion for the story to overcome the flatness of the vérité.

Coming soon? Some time in early July, a story on Powder Burn Flash!

Recommended Summer Reading

The San Francisco Chronicle has some recommended summer reads by some notable San Francisco and San Francisco Bay Area personalities. We're talking Rita Moreno, Danny Glover, Jaime Lauren, Phillip Kaufman, and Peter Coyote.

Not to mention comedian and Paul D. Brazill impersonator, Will Durst goes with my lifetime favorite.

There's also Joan Chen...

...and let's face it, who cares what the others have to say, when you have Joan Chen? They should've devoted the article solely to her. So my recommendations for you? I'll keep it simple because I'm not a reviewer by any stretch of the imagination.

"Jack Wakes Up." Remember when Quentin Tarantino and John Woo were firing on all cylinders? Well Seth Harwood has all of that in spades. One of the best parts of this book, is that the protagonist, Jack Palms, often doesn't know what he is doing or what he is going to do next. He's purely reactive and damn it, that's perfect. Even though he is a former actor, he is real by virtue of how deals with each situation.

The finale is nothing short of Woo bullet ballet.

"Spade And Archer?" I thought that Joe Gores would nail Hammett's prose, the way that he had done previously in novels and one screenplay. I believe that he didn't try as hard as he could and maybe he didn't want the audience reading this book exactly the way they would read Dashiell.

That being said, this was a good book that while not as crisp as Hammett, is a very satisfying novel. The shadow of the real Thin Man or not, Gores does a brilliant job of creating Sam Spade's back story (don't make me use the word, "prequel") and it is a must read.

Connelly's back, 'nuff said.

Mister Bruen does what few can, he can make you empathize with a psychopath (not the psychopath's actions). He has a prose that is unrivaled and literally like no other. He doesn't write books for the cozy set and by God, who wants that? Crime is not white gloves, tea, cucumber sandwiches, crumpets, and china. It's raw as a blood-red steak on a rusty tin plate, with a chaser of Jameson's in a glass that has never seen water nor soap.

"Once Were Cops" brings to mind the old Raymond Chandler quote about Dashiell Hammett-

"Hammett gave murder back to the kind of people that commit it for reasons, not just to provide a corpse; and with the means at hand, not hand-wrought dueling pistols, curare and tropical fish."

The Return of Sam Spade

You're saying to yourself, "did I read that post title right?" Yes you did, though we're actually talking about a prequel to "The Maltese Falcon," and this one is written by Joe Gores (with no undiscovered notes or any "new" contribution from Hammett, other than his original story).

This novel is called "Spade & Archer" and it is set in 1921, 1925, and 1928. We Sam turn into the hardened hard boiled detective that he became and we find out where he barely shed a tear when Miles Archer took that final tumble down Burritt Alley (yes, "Burritt," not "Burrito").

I am over the moon, because I believe if anyone on Earth can write a satisfactory story about Sam Spade using Hammett's style, Joe Gores can. Of course I'm using his excellent book "Cases" as a sample of what he is capable of, as well as Wim Wenders' film "Hammett," where Joe Gores tied together a fictional Dashiell Hammett on a case that would inspire Sam (Hammett) to write all of his stories.

The S.F. Chronicle interviewed Joe Gores about "Spade & Archer," and also about Gores' interesting life that inspired his other novels.

R.I.P. Bettie Page

The Obituary from her Official Site and the AP report from the SF Chronicle.

The Reason You Are Here And No, This Isn't Existence-Related

This post is not existence-related nor is it a koan. It isn't necessarily related to my blog and this sure isn't about what your parents did years ago to bring you into this world. This is why you are here-



Forty years ago, today, a demo of the first PC was given at the Civic Center in San Francisco. One thousand people witnessed the very thing that would eventually connect the entire globe together, no matter how remote the area.