Saturday, January 31, 2009
We're talking the best Bo Flexler story ever, from Clair Dickson. Then there's "Thirteen Questions" with Anthony Bourdain's long lost brother and author, Sean Chercover-
Eric Beetner has wonderful story on the logistical problems that come after a hit, an area so seldom explored and that is more or less glossed over in crime fiction. Jake Hinson writes a truly haunting tale in which all is not it apparently seems.
Patti Abbott tells a tale of a man that has turn his life around from two major tragedies and find redemption for a lost love one. An aside, if an Upper Peninsula inhabitant is a "Yooper," what is a Lower Peninsula resident, a "Looper?"
Keith Rawson relates a piece of fiction that depicts a detective a little closer to real life, than the trench coat stereotype you typically read about. Then the whole tale takes a turn that even if you have read thousands of detective stories? You never saw this one coming.
Did you ever have one of those friends that no matter what you did, you just couldn't help them straighten up and fly right? Michael S. Chong spins a yarn about the inertia involved when you get in the gravitational pull of those that are falling and drag everything else with them. The protagonist unfortunately, does a pretty fair job of plummeting all by himself.
Barry Baldwin finishes up the issue with cop's tale. Take a gander at Issue #2 of Crooked Magazine.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Lara calmly turned to the mirror and said as she dabbed her lip “I’m hungry and you’re gonna get us kicked out of here before we get a chance to eat…if they don’t call the cops first.” The mention of the police dimmed the wattage of Guy’s sneer for less than a second and only someone who knew him would’ve even noticed.
“I ain’t worried about the heat; I got them in my pocket like my blade. You should worry about what’s gonna happened to your five dollar backside if you don’t get out of this bathroom in the next minute. I ain’t waiting all day to order and if you’re not ready by the time the waitress puts my coffee on the table? Well, let’s just say you’re looking tired. Maybe you need a little vacation like Millie got. Might do you a bit of good to get some rest. A little beauty sleep.” Then he laughed like a poor Cajun’s version of The Shadow.
Guy turned on his heels and walked out, his purple zoot suit with red pinstripes a garish blur. Lara smiled even though it caused her almost as much pain as one of Guy’s punches. Everything had to fall into place like one of those complicated Rube Goldberg contraptions. The stakes were high. She had everything to lose and her life to win. Her hand shook as she raised her lipstick, then it became amazingly steady as she started writing.
-From the story "A Red Lipstick," in Astonishing Adventures Magazine Issue #5
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Of course this gives her an excuse to write about Michael Johns, but we won't bring that up, will we?
Monday, January 26, 2009
On Saturday, January 31st, the MDA office where I work will be at Grapevine Mills Mall before dawn to host the 2009 MDA DFW Stride & Ride.
My goal is to send at least one kid to camp. Thanks to MDA that only costs $800. That's amazing for one week at a barrier-free camp. Kids who spend the other 51 weeks of the year in a wheelchair or leg braces get a chance to swim, canoe, ride horses, and even ride on a zip line. Please make a donation and help me reach my goal!
Remember that any size donation is appreciated. So give what you can and what your heart leads you to give. $5, $10, or whatever you can. And then feel proud of the fact that together we're providing help and hope to kids and adults served by MDA in our community. Thanks for making a difference!
Also, please pass this on to anyone and everyone. I need all the help I can get. Thanks!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Half of you that come to this blog will say, "what is that? Did I read that right?"
Yes, you did. It was and is, "an online forum in which you the reader, combine as many as four disparate movie titles into one." Read on to see where the title came from-
A friend of mine and I had a conversation years ago, where we came up with a word-slash-title game. You combine two disparate movie titles into one, as if it was a natural thing all along. Thus, "The Bad Lieutenant's Wife" was born.
So, using the aforementioned as an example:"The Bad Lieutenant" and "The French Lieutenant's Woman," become "The Bad Lieutenant's Wife."
"Three Men And A Little Lady" + "The Lady In The Lake" = "Three Men And The Lady In The Lake."
This was before Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, I think, but I'm not entirely sure. So using a movie with Kevin Bacon, "The River Wild" and couple that with "A River Runs Through It." You get the "The River Runs Wild Through It."
Any movie with "Friday" in the title is too easy. "The Friday The 13th After Next," right?
You can mix eras up, by taking something older and combining it with something a little more recent. Thus, "Bad Santa At Black Rock." You can use a maximum of four titles, because things tend to be confusing after that.
If you can, before posting your submission, please type in keywords of your titles, click "Search Blog" to make sure that your combination is not redundant.
Surely, you the reader can do better, "Jude Law, The Obscure"...well, that's not really a movie title compilation, but you get the idea.
Give it a try, if you believe that you can compete with the awesomeness of Secret Agent Flan.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
"Not at all," I said, recognizing the deviated septum of the veteran Broadway huckster. "I was just sitting by the phone studying its remarkable contours."
"Good. Lemme bring you up to speed. I'm in Boston with a scalding drama that looks to be the biggest thing to hit Broadway since Death of A Salesman. All it needs is some belevling---to smooth out a few rough edges. First time playwright. One of those sensitive myopics who hollers infanticide every time you ask for a line change. Finally had to have him committed, which is not easy to do legally when the person won't go along with it. Anyhow, the nitty gritty is that I'm this close to a Megaball hit if I can just get in a fresh mind to a little re-juxta."*
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
At any rate, that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun, right? This is how it goes-
A) Link to the sexy manshrew who tagged you.
Actually, it wasn't a "manshrew," but Freida, Queen of The Bees. I'd make a semi-innocuous comment about "honey," but I don't know her all that well and her husband would probably make the trip from Texas to kick my ass.
B) Post the regulations on your blog.
No rules except, keep it semi-civil.
C) Write six random things about yourself:
1) I am extremely susceptible to music and that's not just with songs I love, but also the songs I like, and even the ones I hate. Every time the Apple iPod ad with "Around The Bend" by The Asteroids Galaxy comes on, it takes me a good twenty minutes to get it out of my head.
2) I am King of The Run-on Sentences, view the first sentence in number one.
3) I've never met a non-filled pasta that I haven't liked.
4) I can't say the same about people, there are too many people who are hollow inside.
5) I've been flaking lately, sorry. So since my hair is turning gray, does that make me a Sugar-frosted Flake?
6) I couldn't care less what most people think about me, but memes strike a chord with my compulsions. So while on some days I don't want to do them, I'm afraid I won't be ever tagged again and I relent. That's right, I'm a Meme Masochist.
So who am I tagging?
Aldo. I know he's busy, but he said he would post more this year and he hasn't ; )
The always entertaining Paulie Decibels.
Pamila Payne, whom you don't know yet, but you will.
So it was already published and I changed the publishing date and time, which usually saves it for later, English Beat...yet, it didn't. The post will be back on February 10, 2009 and again, I apologize.
Clarification: I posted it without paying attention to the date that we were all to post. I wasn't trying to upstage anyone, though that's what it would've amounted to. If you popped in here this morning, you could've read it and that wasn't supposed to be the case.
When you set the a publishing date and time on Blogger, it usually adheres to that. I reset the publishing date and unfortunately, it just reposted the story, instead of waiting for the new date.
To give you an idea as to just what is going on, I am a whole week in arrears on a story for one online magazine, hoping to get another done for another E-mag (though I'm not certain that either will be accepted) and I have a meme to do.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Every year, English teachers from across the country submit their most amusing similes and metaphors gleaned from high school essays. I’m not sure if this is really true or simply an urban myth, but here are some of the “winners” from 2007. But even if some under-employed writer wearing only a tattered robe wrote them in an unheated basement, they’re still funny.
My favorite was, "she grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."
Check them out.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Top ho, Paulie, good stuff!
If you haven't read this before, I guarantee that you won't know where this is going, and except for the ending when I was writing it, I didn't either. I give you "La Venezia Appassionata" (Passionate Venice) and the word "passion" has less to do with my love for the city, and more to do as a jab at the many soft core pron movies that played in theaters in Italy when I was there.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
...and the winner would get a mention of them or their blog, plus a large cup from my Cafepress shop. So I will list my favorites by the name of the author and by their first name in alphabetical order-
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Here is the second, "Think Inside The Box."
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Nevertheless, if you don't? I suggest-
"It's Chinatown, Jake." Well this is not Chinatown, that is, it is not Jake Gittes's Chinatown, we're talking New York's Chinatown in 1976. While there is plenty of noir and a mystery to boot, those things are all secondary to the portrait of a Chinatown that none of us (outside of those that lived outside of there), has ever known. Ed Lin writes a good mystery, but he takes the long way getting there, and does such a job of showing you what every day life was in this hidden enclave, that you won't mind the distraction.
All of the great authors of old in one great tome. If you love pulp or wanted to know about it, this is the book for you.
"The Brass Verdict" is classic Connelly, which means to all of you Connelly-neophytes? Excellence. Part of the ending is little too convenient, but, hey.
The end of Easy Rawlins? Read it, and then, tell me.
For those who don't want to deal with violence or gore (uh, Baroness, uh Quin)? I give you "Snakeskin Shamisen." A great mystery in which the protagonist, Mas Arai, is a septuagenarian Japanese gardener that probably weighs all of 110 lbs, max.
If you were to take the premise of "The Crime Writer" at face value, you might find it a tad soap opera-ish. I'm not going to give it to you here, you'll have to seek it out. I will tell you that Hurwitz out-Crais-ed Robert Crais this year and this book is in my top three reads of this year.
In my opinion, this is best effort of Max Allan Collins in the last three years. Don't be fooled by the cover or the premise of hitman with a heart, Collins manages to pull it off.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Second, you have to don't listen to me about compliments concerning my own material, as I am not the partial bastard. Listen to Geoff Eighinger of Eastern Standard Crime-
Cormac Brown has the keen ability to put me in a literary trance, focusing on the story at hand before literally twisting me into oblivion at the end. This story was no different, narrated by a police officer named Heidi.
"In most situations, they send me in first and quite frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way. They all just slow me down, anyway, so that's probably why they give me such a wide berth when the shit hits the fan."
Heidi is a conceited one, boasting about her ability to outshine her male counterparts in every way. After describing her recent capture of an armed robbery suspect, we find something out about Heidi that I should have suspected as a reader but never even considered.Bless you, Mr. Brown. Keep up the hilarious fiction sundaes with big cherry surprises on top.
He gave it four hats Ladies and Gentlemen. Here's the review, and more importantly, here's the story.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Not to mention an interview with Hard Case Crime publisher, Charles Ardai and a story by that surly hack, Cormac Brown, called "Retribution." It is the third story of the "Heist Man" series and if you don't read it, that Cormac bastard will fling tepid coffee at you.
And just to let the aspiring writers out there know, Geoff is also accepting submissions for the second issue. The story requirements:
• In the hard-boiled genre, noir or something along those lines
• A word count of 2,000 words or more
• The story cannot have been previously published anywhere else
If interested, please contact: firstname.lastname@example.org.