Sunday, February 22, 2009

Oscars '09

“I frosted my Nixon?” Hugh Jackman, yer creepin’ me out.

Then you almost redeem yourself with the Meryl Streep steroids reference. Seriously, Hugh, you did a great job considering the crappy quasi-musical skit you had to work with, but it didn’t measure up to that of John Stewart's into…or even Steve Martin’s. To the members of The Academy Board, I ask that even in these trying financial times, just give Billy Crystal whatever money he wants, in order to get him to host again.

And while you’re at it, members of The Academy Board? Please drug test your voters? Penelope Cruz is a great actress, but this was clearly everyone getting back at Marisa Tomei for her “My Cousin Vinnie” victory. On the Best Supporting Actress tip, is it me or is Avril...

...Starting to look more and more like Amy Adams?

Well, they gave away the screenwriting awards earlier this time, instead of right before Best Actor. So I might be bailing out of commenting early, since I really have little vested image in watching the Oscars after that...yet my blogging will go on.

Why did the Academy chose to put “Best Animated Film” before “Best Animated Short Film?” That’s kind of anti-climatic and it is indicative of this year’s Awards...flat.

Ben Stiller, the lost Phoenix Brother, nicely upstaged the Best Cinematographer presentation.

Hugh Jackman: The musical is back!
Cormac Brown: Yes, Hughie, it’s a floundering turtle on its back and the vultures are about to feast.

Beyonce cannot save the ADD musical medley, when Hugh can’t hold his pitch with half of the tunes. How the fuck are you going to mix “Maria” with “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina?” Stick with one song for more than four seconds, goddamn it!

Cormac Brown (as Christoper Walken, to Christopher Walken): What is with What

Heath won, as I predicted he would to The Missus, seconds before it happened. A bittersweet moment.

So, the thing is that I’ve been blogging about the Oscars for four years now, if you include this one, and I had more fun last year, than this one.

Of course, the best Oscar year of this century is when Marty was finally vindicated.

Then, The Missus still hasn’t really forgiven me for the first year.

Brilliant that, using The Hives “Tick-Tick-Tick-Boom,” for the action collage and finally, the Oscars have rocked!

The Kid is not happy that “Benjamin Button” beat “Iron Man” for Best Visual Special Effects,” and I imagine there are plenty of other twelve year-olds indignant over this travesty.

To give you an idea of how bored I am with this year’s Oscars, I’ve spent most of the telecast reading about the NFL Combine, instead.

Yeah, Danny Boyle won!

This experiment with having previous winners present and fluff the new acting nominees, strikes me as awkward as hell for all of the people involved and damn it, who left Sophia Loren in the tanning booth overnight?! Anyway, it strikes me as awkward as hell for all the parties involved, especially when they have to gush, and you can see that the nominees have a bad case of nerves, and this just adds to it all.

Odd that they should show just a glimpse of the Adrian Brody acceptance, because that’s exactly what they need this year…a little spontaneity and somebody kissing someone unawares. I’d like to sacrifice myself on behalf of the Academy, by volunteering to kiss Cate Blanchett.

That was a wonderful speech by DeNiro on behalf of Sean Penn. “Richard Jenkins?” I’ve never heard of him, and I saw him in “Burn After Reading.” That just goes to show how difficult it is to be an exceptional character actor, you blend in all too well.

The Kid: Dang, “Slumdog Millionaire” is winning everything.

No truer words were spoken young man.


Dale said...

You're so giving to want to swoop in and rescue Cate Blanchett with your charms, a real man of the people.

My favourite part was Tina Fey and Steve Martin.

Cormac Brown said...


Someone has to step up and save the show, why don't I fall on the sword so to speak for America?

Tina Fey kept up her part and I tend to wonder if Steve wasn't a little "why the hell don't they have me hosting?"

Gifted Typist said...

You shouldve been there cormac - you and (direct article deleted) missus. You'd've been way better than

"Ben Stiller, the lost Phoenix Brother nicely upstaged the Best Cinematographer presentation.

Oh well, at least I got to see this post, such is my privilege

Doc said...

I'm glad I didn't see it. Your recap is better.


Cormac Brown said...


I thought Oscar-watching was mandatory in Canada?


Thanks, but not by much. They just should've handed the whole thing over to Judd Apatow.

James said...

I have a feeling that when I do finally see Slumdog...which I will at some point, I'm sure...I'm going to be horribly disappointed. Too much hype!

Cormac Brown said...


But we're talking about Danny Boyle, it could conceivably live up to the hype...I just hope this isn't like "Crash" where it won not so much on the basis of quality, but on the schtick of being different.