Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Alterna-Title-Sequel-Tive Part Deux

Being a former aspiring screenwriter, why don't I adapt the same reverence and accuracy for the source material that Hollywood does, while even out "Hollywooding" Hollywood and going to the pointless sequel right off the bat.

I'll give you the original book title, and then I'll follow it up with the shameless pseudo-Hollywood rip-off, okay? As an example...The Original: "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" My Sequel: "Been There, Wish I Hadn't Done That." Got it?

The Original: "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask." My Sequel: "Everything You Didn't Want To Know About Abstinance, To Help Cure Your Insomnia."

The Original: "A Tale of Two Cities" My Sequel: "A Tale of Two Silicone (you pretty much know what goes here)."

The Original: "Carrie." My Sequel: "Hairy."

The Original: "Call of The Wild." My Sequel: "Mall of The Mild."

The Original: "Horton Hears A Who." My Sequel: "Horton Loses His Hearing At A Who Concert."

The Original: "The Man In The Iron Mask" My Sequel: "The Granny With The Iron Flask"

The Original: "Charlotte's Web." My Sequel: "Harlot's Ebb."


Some Guy said...

I will be the first in line to see "The Granny With Iron Flask". I don't think Bea Arthur is busy with anything right now.

BeckEye said...

I love "Horton Loses His Hearing at a Who Concert." As long as Jim Carrey's not in it.

Cormac Brown said...


Actually, I had Estelle in mind, but Maude would be even better.


If not him, Mike Myers because we are talking Hollywood.