Saturday, December 13, 2008

"Passive-Digressive"

She was passive-digressive.

When her ex-boyfriend said, "you're lending me your car," she replied, "remember when we drove to Oregon?" as she handed him her keys. Mind you, he wasn't asking and she didn't even blink or hesitate.

When her mother said, "we're having Thanksgiving at your place," despite the fact that we all knew that her apartment was too small, she replied, "I love stuffing; who doesn't?" I was only half as shocked that time, because I knew that changing the subject was her only form of protest.

To compensate for the many parasites and jerks in her life, I went out of my way not to agitate her or raise my voice...even on the rare occasion when I would've been well within my rights. So I was taken aback when she told me, "we're having corned beef for dinner tonight," knowing full well that I abhorred the stuff. There were leftovers the next day and I ate those also without complaint as well.

She had me over for dinner that next Friday night and I had to cancel out at the last minute, because of a work emergency. I tried to make it up to her the following morning with flowers and a CD, so she invited me in for breakfast...for fresh corned beef hash.

So I never called...or emailed...or called on her again...though I did send her a case of stuffing for her birthday.

12 comments:

Paul D Brazill said...

This is a cracker!

Joe said...

Excellent. I think I might have dated that girl briefly.

Cormac Brown said...

Paulie Decibels,

Thanks.

Bubs,

Then you must have got around, because there are a bunch of women in that one character ; )

Some Guy said...

Well done, CB!

Freida Bee said...

You know what I like and you just don't see it enough? Tapicoa pudding.

Cormac Brown said...

Chris,

Thank you.

Freida,

I was talking to The Missus about the very same thing not too long ago. They have several stores and restaurants not too far from our house that serve Bubble Tea and one of the main ingredients in the tea, is tapioca. I was saying to her that, "no one serves tapioca pudding anymore, it went the way of potted meat and bread in a can."

quin browne said...

you rocked this one!!



(i have 14 words written)

Cormac Brown said...

Quin,

Why, thank you Miss Browne and fourteen is a wonderful foundation.

Gifted Typist said...

I love that terminology, passive digressive. Did you coin that?

Cormac Brown said...

Gifted,

I thought I did, but I just Googled the expression and apparently I did not.

Corey Wilde said...

I want to tell you how much I enjoyed this, so I'll just say, 'You're lending me your car.'

Cormac Brown said...

Corey,

Welcome, thank you and not a million years ; )