Saturday, June 27, 2009

John Donald Carlucci's "The End Of The World Meme"

The Editor JDC has come out with "An End Of The World Meme."

It's easy enough, until you mull it over and then...well, here we go-

You wake up tomorrow and every person on the planet has vanished. What do you do?

Day One: I've had a few days to think this out and I believe that this should get the screenwriter treatment, as opposed to the author treatment. It is exactly like the making of sausage or hot dogs...if you really think about it, you really don't want to know.

Screenwriters tend to give things only so much detail because like a shark, they can't stop swimming and they have to move on to the next scene. The author has to pay attention because his or her audience can and will back track a few pages, and the holes will be exposed. Like a road map, I'm only putting you in the town, it's up to you to Google the rest.

Also, please note that this meem won't be pleasant, but I want you to look at this a clinically as possible, because that's how I am approaching it.

The first day is about securing; a can opener, all the canned food that I can, a mask to protect myself from airborne diseases, and shotguns from police cruisers. I work at night, sometimes outside and one of the first things that you have to do on my job is get over your phobia of rats.

If everyone but me were to perish, the rats would pop out minutes after that and that's something that movies or a certain TV series doesn't really acknowledge. I've also learned that for every rat that you see, there are dozens that are hidden. More importantly, the more rats you have, the braver they are, and thus, time to go "Dick Cheney hunting trip" on them.

The airborne diseases from the decaying bodies would start right away, so I'm moving south and westward towards the San Mateo mountains to avoid the winds carrying the stuff.

Week One: I finally saw "I Am Legend" when the cable company pulled a bait and switch, so we had HBO for a week. If there's one thing that they got right, you are going to want to have a dog, preferably two of them and a couple of cats to deal with and warn you of all the other animals that will view you as food. Hopefully by this time I've had the time and peace to mourn everyone properly. I've also switched over to "Burgess Meredith in the 'Twilight Zone' mode" and I'm reading everything I can get my hands on.

I am also reading up on antibiotics, in order to combat all the fun things that my 21st Century immune system can't handle. Hopefully by then I've also secured a way to filter the water because the water treatment plants won't be working by then.

Month One: Did I really make it this far? If I did, I've probably discovered Zoloft or something similar to deal with the absence of any other human beings. At this point, I'd even miss the sphincters at work for the usual antagonism. Hopefully not too many animals other than rats have developed a taste for yours truly. I'm not going to delve any deeper than this, the real world is intruding on my writing projects and this meme is on the verge of becoming another distraction.

I tag anyone who wants to do this and only Bubs, in specific, because he has the mental makeup for this, and I want to know how he would handle things from a logistical standpoint.


John Donald Carlucci said...

You need to watch the original "Last man on Earth" with Vincent Price. I own 5 different copies.

That Wil smith one was for shit. However, Wil did act in this one. Not like that stuff he did in "I Robot."


Cormac Brown said...

Will wasn't the problem, and if you told me that the same guy swrote the new "Star Trek," I'd say you're f'in' with me. The rubber-faced people didn't help, I can't believe that they couldn't come up with scarier creatures in the Golden Age of CGI.

lakeviewer said...

Without electricity, lots of things won't work. We'll be exhausted building a fire just to brew coffee. Then, the first night will feel unusually long, what with animals feasting and fighting each other. I'm looking for pills now, anything that will put me into neverland so I don't die of fright or loneliness.

Cormac Brown said...


"We'll be exhausted building a fire just to brew coffee."

Absolutely, and get used to instant for a long time.

"I'm looking for pills now, anything that will put me into neverland so I don't die of fright or loneliness."

I believe that your instinct to survive will override that, though thinking of you has brought up an interesting point, what would we do when the medications that we need to survive everyday, run out?

rebecca said...

It's sad, but I am such a girl I won't make it past week one and it wouldn't be from disease or starvation or such. The rats alone and the lack of sleep because I'd be afraid of crawling things all over me or dead-walking things that shouldn't be will kill me first.

Great. I shouldn't have read this tonight because now I can only imagine what my dreams will be like tonite. Thanks. =)

Cormac Brown said...


Sorry about the possibilities of nightmares, it's a heady and completely fictitious subject. Take consolation that chances of just one person being the lone survivor on Earth are not even mathematically possible.

Dale said...

First I'd rejoice at the absence of all the people and then I'd get scared, lonely, contemplative and start looking for a dvd player. Then I'd probably find the only thing left to watch was that Burgess Meredith Twilight Zone over and over. Then I'd end up accidentally shooting myself.

Cormac Brown said...


"Then I'd end up accidentally shooting myself."

That's highly doubtful. You would be dancing for weeks just off of the facts that you would never have to take a meeting again or drink tainted coffee.

Bubs said...

Wow. JDC said "vanished", but in your apocalypse all the stiffs are left lying around. Yeesh.

I'm getting to this asap.

Bubs said...


Cormac Brown said...


"Wow. JDC said "vanished", but in your apocalypse all the stiffs are left lying around. Yeesh."

Ugh, now there's my writer's attention to detail in action. If only I had noticed that before, I would've finished the meem sooner and made one less deposit to my ever-growing depression account.

Great answers on yours and I'll bet that they would give Rebecca only half the nightmares. Now excuse me while stand in the corner like a heel.