Tuesday, November 11, 2008

"All That Women Desire"

Kari was done with that two-timing bastard, Heath. It was the unfamiliar ring-tone that kicked the whole thing off. In specific, it came from the pre-paid cell phone that he forgot to turn off before he came home. She griped the phone tentatively and looked towards their bathroom, where he singing in the shower after their tumble in sheets.

The wrong kind of epiphany illuminated inside of her before she even glanced at the number on the screen-

Some days Heath's endurance was better than it ever had been and on other days? He was just tired, lethargic and he became irritable about the tiniest things. And for someone who was working as much overtime as he was, why did he always hit her up for money?

Kari nearly ripped her clothes as she got dressed for work. The lone consolation to the anger and sadness that was on the verge of overwhelming her, was the satisfying sound of Heath's cell phone breaking into three pieces over his head as her throw struck true.

"If a casino gave out as many second chances as I gave him, it would go broke," she mumbled as she put her apron on. She worked at the greasy but quaint diner just outside of Red Bank and she cried through her entire shift. Her tears killed many an appetite and the paltry tips that the unsympathetic diners left her, made her feel even worse.

Every so often, Valter the Serbian fry-cook looked up from his grill. He bit his lip as he mulled her blues over and he decided to make her something special. Just past closing time, he told her that he had just the thing to cheer her up.

Kari's puffy eyes seemed to brighten in anticipation; she had no idea what Valter was up to. He went into the kitchen and brought out two steaks...

...covered in icing. Valter stepped back, clasped his hands together and beamed like a child.

"What is this, Valter?"

“It’s what all American women want; I hear them say it everyday.”

“I’m sorry…what is this?”

“Why, it is beefcake.”

To cheer your big heart up, you know who you are : )


paulbrazill said...

ba daah! smashin!

Gifted Typist said...

if someone showed that to me and said guess who wrote it, I'd say you.

Cormac Brown said...


Thank you.


Er, thank you?