Saturday, February 24, 2007

"The Best That Daquiris Can Do"

“How did my underwear wind up on pillow?” she mumbled. She blinked hard in an effort to recall just what happened, then it came to her hard and ugly like a bull before he's about to finish off a matador.

He could feel her eyes on him before he even woke up and he knew as soon as he opened his eyes that she would be the farthest thing from happy as possible. He tried a smile to diffuse her anger, but he wound up looking like a nervous gazelle that accidentally stumbled onto a lioness. She looked at her panties that lay between them, then at him.

Heavy weight boxers that went the distance in a fight, with their blood and teeth on the canvas, have gone out on better terms than this couple did. Still, like alcoholics and addicts, they had a bad tendency to lapse into convenience and the safety of familiarity. This was the second time that they’ve both somehow managed to take the same ravaged, pothole-filled road instead of the one less-traveled.

Why does this keep happening to me?

Why doesn’t this happen more often?

I swear he’s going to blame this on me, he’s got the worst Eve complex this side of the medieval Catholic Church.

She’s going to blame this on me, even though she’s the one that called me up because she needed a shoulder to cry on.

Did I call him yesterday afternoon?

Midori daiquiris never fail…I think.

I don’t remember drinking that much…certainly not enough to ever wind up in bed with him again.

I mean, I’m not hung over or anything...except for the intermittent tympani symphony between my ears.

We were okay together, but not to the point that I would wind up doing even considering going down this road again.

I don’t get it, she couldn’t stand me half the time…yet here we are.

Here I am…with this pretentious prick.

Look at her glaring at me, did somebody drop a house on her sister and take the slippers?

I feel good, almost like I’m liquid.

That’s funny, I don’t feel good like I usually do, after we…did we? If we did…

Is he just going to stare at me all day?

Is she just going to glare at me all day?



“Is that all that you have to say?”

“I, uh, no, I guess, no. Last night was nice…wasn’t it?”

She finally allowed herself a smile, “…A little too, you know? It‘s kind of like you outdid yourself.”

“Yeah, guess I did.”

A torrent of laughter came from behind the bathroom door near his side of the bed and the door opened. They both covered themselves with the sheet and blankets as the door opened. The laughter flowed from a gorgeous woman wearing nothing but the towel she that she was using to dry her hair.

“Oh, you pick now to be modest?” she said to the surprised woman on the bed as she flipped her wet hair down and back up. She worked her fingers through her glistening locks like a brush and shook her head at him. “As far as you go, you don’t know the definition of ‘modesty.’ Unless passing out as soon as any part of you touches the bed, counts as ‘outdoing’ yourself.”

Note: JJ had the choice of four starter sentences...

It all started with a ham sandwich...
How did my underwear wind up...
That can't be my mother...
He woke up, wondering where his...

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