I see two pairs of seagulls near Van Ness, with a pair on the sidewalk and a pair atop on a green recycling bin. They do an odd mating dance that I have never witnessed before. Their wings are raised and they take turns opening their mouths while the other gulls insert their beaks, then the other gulls do the same. An odd avian tango to be sure.
Then I mull this over and I realize that the very same thing happens some blocks away in the Marina District. The women, also known as "Marina Chicks," try to ply the affluent males with their wiles. The interplay can often be just as mysterious or elaborate, though the gulls certainly don't wear makeup, or have to play phone or email tag.
The result of all of them will eventually be the same; there will be plenty of posturing by both sexes, seafood will be consumed, there will be plenty of squawking by both sexes, and eventually the males will simply refuse to call upon the females.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
John Carlucci Revives Democracy Hypocrisy For A Noble Cause
The Editor JDC has revived Democracy Hypocrisy for a noble cause, the hope for democracy and freedom in Iran.
He had posted a video on YouTube that has since been taken down by the site's administrators, but he will mostly likely repost on his own blog. I have seen the video on a social network and I will repost here the text that accompanied the video.
A young woman who was standing aside with her father watching the protests was shot by a basij member hiding on the rooftop of a civilian house. He had clear shot at the girl and could not miss her. However, he aimed straight her heart. I am a doctor, so I rushed to try to save her.
But the impact of the gunshot was so fierce that the bullet had blasted inside the victim's chest, and she died in less than 2 minutes.
The protests were going on about 1 kilometers away in the main street and some of the protesting crowd were running from tear gass (sic) used among them, towards Salehi St.
The film is shot by my friend who was standing beside me.
Please let the world know.
Now, I ask you, are these the actions of a victor that ran a fair and proper election?
He had posted a video on YouTube that has since been taken down by the site's administrators, but he will mostly likely repost on his own blog. I have seen the video on a social network and I will repost here the text that accompanied the video.
Basij shots to death a young woman in Tehran's Saturday June 20th protests-
At 19:05 June 20thPlace: Karekar Ave., at the corner crossing Khosravi St. and Salehi st.A young woman who was standing aside with her father watching the protests was shot by a basij member hiding on the rooftop of a civilian house. He had clear shot at the girl and could not miss her. However, he aimed straight her heart. I am a doctor, so I rushed to try to save her.
But the impact of the gunshot was so fierce that the bullet had blasted inside the victim's chest, and she died in less than 2 minutes.
The protests were going on about 1 kilometers away in the main street and some of the protesting crowd were running from tear gass (sic) used among them, towards Salehi St.
The film is shot by my friend who was standing beside me.
Please let the world know.
Now, I ask you, are these the actions of a victor that ran a fair and proper election?
Writing Quotes From Toni Morrison And Norman Mailer
"I wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it."
– Toni Morrison
"Being a real writer means being able to do the work on a bad day."
– Norman Mailer
The latter quote and me are in conference, so I'll see you whenever I'm done.
Take care.
– Toni Morrison
"Being a real writer means being able to do the work on a bad day."
– Norman Mailer
The latter quote and me are in conference, so I'll see you whenever I'm done.
Take care.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Quin's Six Sentence Magnum Opus
What are you doing here? Ladies and Gentlemen, Quin's 6S magnum opus, "Six Days A Week" is up at Six Sentences!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Sandra Seamans Champions The E-Zine And A Certain Writer
You say you've never been to Sandra Seamans "My Little Corner?" Then how are you going to find out about new sites (not just crime or science fiction-related), Ezines, contests, and read her fine writing?
Yesterday, she brought up the value of Ezines as a venue for up and coming writers to reach audiences that were previously unattainable, then she proceeded to cite the example of a certain crime writing force majeure (a.k.a. Paul D. Brazill) and how he has set a record for story readership on Beat To a Pulp.
People like to slam the Internet, but from what I can see, a more good comes from it than bad. And those good things might not come to fruition if not for communities such as these.
P.S. Here is the story that was mentioned.
Yesterday, she brought up the value of Ezines as a venue for up and coming writers to reach audiences that were previously unattainable, then she proceeded to cite the example of a certain crime writing force majeure (a.k.a. Paul D. Brazill) and how he has set a record for story readership on Beat To a Pulp.
People like to slam the Internet, but from what I can see, a more good comes from it than bad. And those good things might not come to fruition if not for communities such as these.
P.S. Here is the story that was mentioned.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Best Of: "When Gunpowder Gets In Your Eyes"
"The Best Of" gets redundant, by reviving the very post that I originally posted as the first "Best Of." What do you want? I'm on a mobius twist ever since I've seen the new "Star Trek."
It's not a Platter's tune, yet...
They said someday you'll find
All bullets are blind
Oh, when your heart's on fire
You must realize
Gunpowder gets in your eyes
Please check out "When Gunpowder Gets In Your Eyes."
It's not a Platter's tune, yet...
They said someday you'll find
All bullets are blind
Oh, when your heart's on fire
You must realize
Gunpowder gets in your eyes
Please check out "When Gunpowder Gets In Your Eyes."
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Recommended Summer Reading
The San Francisco Chronicle has some recommended summer reads by some notable San Francisco and San Francisco Bay Area personalities. We're talking Rita Moreno, Danny Glover, Jaime Lauren, Phillip Kaufman, and Peter Coyote.
Not to mention comedian and Paul D. Brazill impersonator, Will Durst goes with my lifetime favorite.
...and let's face it, who cares what the others have to say, when you have Joan Chen? They should've devoted the article solely to her. So my recommendations for you? I'll keep it simple because I'm not a reviewer by any stretch of the imagination.
"Jack Wakes Up." Remember when Quentin Tarantino and John Woo were firing on all cylinders? Well Seth Harwood has all of that in spades. One of the best parts of this book, is that the protagonist, Jack Palms, often doesn't know what he is doing or what he is going to do next. He's purely reactive and damn it, that's perfect. Even though he is a former actor, he is real by virtue of how deals with each situation.
Not to mention comedian and Paul D. Brazill impersonator, Will Durst goes with my lifetime favorite.
There's also Joan Chen...
...and let's face it, who cares what the others have to say, when you have Joan Chen? They should've devoted the article solely to her. So my recommendations for you? I'll keep it simple because I'm not a reviewer by any stretch of the imagination.
"Jack Wakes Up." Remember when Quentin Tarantino and John Woo were firing on all cylinders? Well Seth Harwood has all of that in spades. One of the best parts of this book, is that the protagonist, Jack Palms, often doesn't know what he is doing or what he is going to do next. He's purely reactive and damn it, that's perfect. Even though he is a former actor, he is real by virtue of how deals with each situation.
The finale is nothing short of Woo bullet ballet.
"Spade And Archer?" I thought that Joe Gores would nail Hammett's prose, the way that he had done previously in novels and one screenplay. I believe that he didn't try as hard as he could and maybe he didn't want the audience reading this book exactly the way they would read Dashiell.
That being said, this was a good book that while not as crisp as Hammett, is a very satisfying novel. The shadow of the real Thin Man or not, Gores does a brilliant job of creating Sam Spade's back story (don't make me use the word, "prequel") and it is a must read.
Connelly's back, 'nuff said.
Mister Bruen does what few can, he can make you empathize with a psychopath (not the psychopath's actions). He has a prose that is unrivaled and literally like no other. He doesn't write books for the cozy set and by God, who wants that? Crime is not white gloves, tea, cucumber sandwiches, crumpets, and china. It's raw as a blood-red steak on a rusty tin plate, with a chaser of Jameson's in a glass that has never seen water nor soap.
"Hammett gave murder back to the kind of people that commit it for reasons, not just to provide a corpse; and with the means at hand, not hand-wrought dueling pistols, curare and tropical fish."
"Spade And Archer?" I thought that Joe Gores would nail Hammett's prose, the way that he had done previously in novels and one screenplay. I believe that he didn't try as hard as he could and maybe he didn't want the audience reading this book exactly the way they would read Dashiell.
That being said, this was a good book that while not as crisp as Hammett, is a very satisfying novel. The shadow of the real Thin Man or not, Gores does a brilliant job of creating Sam Spade's back story (don't make me use the word, "prequel") and it is a must read.
Connelly's back, 'nuff said.
Mister Bruen does what few can, he can make you empathize with a psychopath (not the psychopath's actions). He has a prose that is unrivaled and literally like no other. He doesn't write books for the cozy set and by God, who wants that? Crime is not white gloves, tea, cucumber sandwiches, crumpets, and china. It's raw as a blood-red steak on a rusty tin plate, with a chaser of Jameson's in a glass that has never seen water nor soap.
"Once Were Cops" brings to mind the old Raymond Chandler quote about Dashiell Hammett-
"Hammett gave murder back to the kind of people that commit it for reasons, not just to provide a corpse; and with the means at hand, not hand-wrought dueling pistols, curare and tropical fish."
Monday, June 15, 2009
Dedicated To Her/Not To Her
When you ask me if I miss you, I hem, I haw.
I drag it out, but when it comes to you, I couldn't play coy with a gun to my head.
Yes I miss you.
I miss you like an Englishman misses a sunny day.
I drag it out, but when it comes to you, I couldn't play coy with a gun to my head.
Yes I miss you.
I miss you like an Englishman misses a sunny day.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Quoth Logan Pearsall Smith
I've pulled two posts in as many days and I'm getting so fussy about it, it makes me wonder whether I'm blogging or writing. Time to go back to writing quotes as a standby-
"What I like in a good author isn't what he says, but what he whispers."
– Logan Pearsall Smith
That was from the Creative Screenwriting Weekly Newsletter, and not that I familiar at all with Mr. Smith, yet here is another quote from him-
"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
"What I like in a good author isn't what he says, but what he whispers."
– Logan Pearsall Smith
That was from the Creative Screenwriting Weekly Newsletter, and not that I familiar at all with Mr. Smith, yet here is another quote from him-
"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Four Score
Paulie Decibels tagged me with the Four Play Meme that apparently started with our set at The Rap Sheet, and has since hit every amateur crime writer like a broke paparazzo going after Susan Boyle.
4 movies you would watch over and over again:
Goodfellas
Groundhog Day
Cop Land
Tombstone
4 places you have lived:
Parma, Italy
Venezia (Venice), Italy
A Black Hole of A City In The East Bay That Does Not Deserved To Be Named, California
San Francisco, California
4 TV shows you love to watch:
The Tick (both live and animated versions)
The Wire (still have yet to see or buy the last two seasons)
The Sopranos
Scrubs
4 places you have been on vacation:
Negril, Jamaica
London, England
Paris, France
The NYC, New York
4 of your favorite foods:
Sushi
Spaghetti ala pesto Genovese
Virtually anything with eggplant in it.
Steak
4 Web sites you visit daily:
SF Gate
Statcounter
You Would Say That, Wouldn't You (Paulie has all the relevant links)
A Gasping Little Voice (Quin talks softly, but her words hit you like a big stick)
4 places you would rather be right now:
Back East, hanging with The In-Laws.
Venezia. Late May through early June and the weather is just perfect.
Hawaii. Haven't been since I was eight.
Japan. I've never been west of Hawaii.
4 things you want to do before you die:
Put my son through college.
Buy a house.
Get my anthology published.
Have my work adapted for the silver screen.
4 books you wish you could read again for the first time:
"Sailor On The Seas of Fate"
"Red Harvest"
"A Red Death"
"Street Raised"
Tag 4 people you think will respond:
Let's go with five, four is an unlucky number.
The Missus
Quin
Editor JDC
Stephanie
Becky
4 movies you would watch over and over again:
Goodfellas
Groundhog Day
Cop Land
Tombstone
4 places you have lived:
Parma, Italy
Venezia (Venice), Italy
A Black Hole of A City In The East Bay That Does Not Deserved To Be Named, California
San Francisco, California
4 TV shows you love to watch:
The Tick (both live and animated versions)
The Wire (still have yet to see or buy the last two seasons)
The Sopranos
Scrubs
4 places you have been on vacation:
Negril, Jamaica
London, England
Paris, France
The NYC, New York
4 of your favorite foods:
Sushi
Spaghetti ala pesto Genovese
Virtually anything with eggplant in it.
Steak
4 Web sites you visit daily:
SF Gate
Statcounter
You Would Say That, Wouldn't You (Paulie has all the relevant links)
A Gasping Little Voice (Quin talks softly, but her words hit you like a big stick)
4 places you would rather be right now:
Back East, hanging with The In-Laws.
Venezia. Late May through early June and the weather is just perfect.
Hawaii. Haven't been since I was eight.
Japan. I've never been west of Hawaii.
4 things you want to do before you die:
Put my son through college.
Buy a house.
Get my anthology published.
Have my work adapted for the silver screen.
4 books you wish you could read again for the first time:
"Sailor On The Seas of Fate"
"Red Harvest"
"A Red Death"
"Street Raised"
Tag 4 people you think will respond:
Let's go with five, four is an unlucky number.
The Missus
Quin
Editor JDC
Stephanie
Becky
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
"You Are"
Whether you are at the mall or at the airport, that sign is always wrong, because you are never here. Sure, it might say, “you are here,” but they are talking about anybody but you. You are as detached as someone could ever be without being in a coma or expired.
You are as disconnected as all those former pay phones that now sit in a landfill somewhere, waiting to be discovered centuries from now by archaeologists, and they will have just a tad more insight to those phones as I have to you right at this moment.
I wonder if you have been “in the moment” a day in your life.
Tell me, how do you cross First Street without all the speeding bridge and tunnel people who are so eager to return to the sanctuary of suburbia, hitting you?
I wonder if you will live forever, because how can the Grim Reaper take away what was never connected in the first place?
I know I will never have an answer, because I will always be on the outside looking in.
You are as disconnected as all those former pay phones that now sit in a landfill somewhere, waiting to be discovered centuries from now by archaeologists, and they will have just a tad more insight to those phones as I have to you right at this moment.
I wonder if you have been “in the moment” a day in your life.
Tell me, how do you cross First Street without all the speeding bridge and tunnel people who are so eager to return to the sanctuary of suburbia, hitting you?
I wonder if you will live forever, because how can the Grim Reaper take away what was never connected in the first place?
I know I will never have an answer, because I will always be on the outside looking in.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Post #300
Well, according to the "Published" portion of my "Edit Posts" section, this is post number 300. I was considering filling this little space with some writing-based kvetch, but that's no way to celebrate something. I wanted to do some book reviews, but I'm no Corey Wilde or Marilyn Stasio.
So, why don't we make this about you, the reader?
"Tell Me Something Good," Rufus And Chaka Kahn.
"Tell me, tell me, tell me," Fastway.
"Don't Tell Me You Love Me," Night Ranger.
"Say Anything," John Cusack and Ione Skye...just keep it fairly apolitical, short, and sweet.
So, why don't we make this about you, the reader?
"Tell Me Something Good," Rufus And Chaka Kahn.
"Tell me, tell me, tell me," Fastway.
"Don't Tell Me You Love Me," Night Ranger.
"Say Anything," John Cusack and Ione Skye...just keep it fairly apolitical, short, and sweet.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Issue #6 Of Astonishing Adventures Is Finally In Print!
The print issue Number Six of Astonishing Adventures is finally here!
Actually, Amazon finally put in print two weeks ago, some two weeks after the online version. So what do you get with the print issue, that you don't get with its online counterpart? You get a different cover from this one-
Actually, Amazon finally put in print two weeks ago, some two weeks after the online version. So what do you get with the print issue, that you don't get with its online counterpart? You get a different cover from this one-
You also get my story "All The Better To," and after reading it, you'll never look at your grandma...or anyone else's grandma, the same way again. You could also think of it as a western set in The Great Depression, but see for yourself.
Granted, the story is also available on the online version, but you also get up and coming writer, Katt Parish's epic "Djinn," which is only available on the print version. So why don't you order AAM Issue #6 on Amazon, today?
P.S. The site The Novel Blog.Com, also gave AAM #6 a little write up, check it out!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
"Let Them Eat Cake" Flash Fiction Challenge #5
“I’m not a bridezilla!”
You’re absolutely not a bridezilla!
“What have I ever asked you for, Dad?”
You never asked him for a thing, Tammy. If anything, he’s always borrowing money from you.
“Honey, I’m sorry. I know you’ve never asked for much, but I gotta keep a strike fund ready…look, your uncle could get us the basement at the Elk’s Club for cheap.”
“Oooh!”
Damn, Tammy, you slammed that door so hard, I think you tore it off its hinges!
“What am I going to do? If I don’t come up with the rest of the deposit by Wednesday, we’ll lose the wedding hall!”
Not to panic, not to panic. Let’s go shopping.
“Why?”
Inspiration, Tammy, inspiration.
“To the mall?”
No, let’s go to Downtown Los Colinas.
***
“Okay, we’re here; now what?”
That’s it.
“What’s it?”
That’s it.
“I already have my engagement and wedding ring sets.”
I know. Look next door, what do you see?
“A CPA’s office.”
And?
“And what?”
Do I have to spell it out for you? Think like your cousin Charlie.
“Why…would…I…ever, do a thing like that?”
Because you’re going to need Charlie’s help, as well as your fiancé Larry’s tools.
“I don’t follow.”
Think like Charlie. What do you see, Tammy? One of these things is not like the other.
“Don’t mock me…oh…Oh! There’s no visible alarm on the CPA’s office.”
Exactly. We’ll double-check around back, but I doubt that there’s an alarm. Identity thieves would rather get the information via trash, mail or online. Now comes the hard part. You are going to make nice with Charlie and invite him to your wedding.
“For God’s sake, why?”
Because you don’t know the first thing about tools, theft or anything that comes afterwards. And what are you going to do, research this on the Internet so that you leave a trail for the police to follow?
“But he’ll get drunk and ruin the wedding.”
There won’t be a wedding or a reception if you don’t make nice with Charlie. Do this right and everybody will come out happy, plus you’ll be able to afford a honeymoon.
“And how are we going to pull this off?”
What does Larry have that can cut through all of this, as if it were a slice of wedding cake?
***
“I’ll stay in the car, Charlie, and radio you if there are any cops.”
“Oh, no, I’m staying out here and you two will go in.”
“Charlie, let’s be realistic for a second. How much safe-cracking experience do you think I have?”
“Um…none?”
“And you know what kind of a thief I am. I shoplifted that one time when we were twelve and I got caught. Now, how much experience do you think I have with tools?”
“Fine, I get your point.”
“Why should we even cut her in, Charlie?”
“Hey, asshole, did you scout this place?”
“No bitch is going to talk to me—“
“Look, Myron! I’ll talk to you the way I like! I came up with the plan, I scouted this place and these are my fiancé’s tools! If anybody is a “bitch” around here, it’s you begging Charlie to cut you in on my job! Got it?”
“…Yeah.”
***
“Oh, man, look at this! There must be over $250,000 in loot!”
“Don’t open that bag until we’re out of here!”
“Yeah, sorry. Hey, Myron, don’t you have something to say to my cousin?”
“I’m sorry I disrespected you.”
“It’s all copacetic now, Myron.”
***
That was a beautiful wedding, if I say so myself. The reception is going to be a breeze, especially without Charlie there.
“I’m worried. Where is he?”
“Who are you talking to, Tammy?”
Shut up, Larry!
“Shut up, Larry!”
Uh-oh.
“’Uh-oh,’ is right. The cops.”
Three squad cars? Charlie or Myron gave us up, probably Myron because he really did strike me as a bitch. Have the driver stop behind the catering truck before the cops see us.
“Driver? Please pull up behind that truck.”
“What’s going on, Tammy?”
Don’t forget the passports and the money!
“Just get the suitcases out of the trunk, Larry.”
Tell me the keys are in the ignition.
“They left the keys in there, yes.”
“Tammy, who are you talking to?”
Shut up, Larry!
“Shut up, Larry and put the suitcases in this truck!”
***
“Honey, where are we going and why is that police car chasing us?”
The cake, it’s the only way.
“No.”
There’s no choice.
“Larry? Open the back door and dump the wedding cake in the road.”
“But, honey, are you going to slow down?”
“Fine.”
Yes, look at them spin! Let them eat cake and canyon!
“Why do I even listen to you? When have you ever been right about anything?”
Beats me, what do I know? I’m just a voice in your head and if you took your medication like you’re supposed to, I wouldn’t have to listen to me either.
Aldo, Gerald and Patti have created yet another flash fiction challenge-
In the early nineties, a book was published where each story shared a single concept: "a wedding cake in the middle of the road." None of those stories were flash fiction, but let's see what we can do with that idea in a limited number of words.
Stories should be around 750 words, but anything under 1000 wrds is good. You can set your wedding cake on a road on Mars, in Montana, or anywhere at all. In other words, all genres are welcome.
The "wedding cake in the road" can be the main idea or a sidebar-so long as it's in there--like the gun in Plots with Guns.
Mystery Dawg will publish stories on Powder Burn Flash where no blog is available.
A long time ago, I was going to do a story based on real-life drunken bride that went pugilstic on everyone in sight. Her "inner voice" that steered her wrong was retained, and I added that to a real life jewel heist that happened on The (San Francisco) Peninsula last winter.
You’re absolutely not a bridezilla!
“What have I ever asked you for, Dad?”
You never asked him for a thing, Tammy. If anything, he’s always borrowing money from you.
“Honey, I’m sorry. I know you’ve never asked for much, but I gotta keep a strike fund ready…look, your uncle could get us the basement at the Elk’s Club for cheap.”
“Oooh!”
Damn, Tammy, you slammed that door so hard, I think you tore it off its hinges!
“What am I going to do? If I don’t come up with the rest of the deposit by Wednesday, we’ll lose the wedding hall!”
Not to panic, not to panic. Let’s go shopping.
“Why?”
Inspiration, Tammy, inspiration.
“To the mall?”
No, let’s go to Downtown Los Colinas.
***
“Okay, we’re here; now what?”
That’s it.
“What’s it?”
That’s it.
“I already have my engagement and wedding ring sets.”
I know. Look next door, what do you see?
“A CPA’s office.”
And?
“And what?”
Do I have to spell it out for you? Think like your cousin Charlie.
“Why…would…I…ever, do a thing like that?”
Because you’re going to need Charlie’s help, as well as your fiancé Larry’s tools.
“I don’t follow.”
Think like Charlie. What do you see, Tammy? One of these things is not like the other.
“Don’t mock me…oh…Oh! There’s no visible alarm on the CPA’s office.”
Exactly. We’ll double-check around back, but I doubt that there’s an alarm. Identity thieves would rather get the information via trash, mail or online. Now comes the hard part. You are going to make nice with Charlie and invite him to your wedding.
“For God’s sake, why?”
Because you don’t know the first thing about tools, theft or anything that comes afterwards. And what are you going to do, research this on the Internet so that you leave a trail for the police to follow?
“But he’ll get drunk and ruin the wedding.”
There won’t be a wedding or a reception if you don’t make nice with Charlie. Do this right and everybody will come out happy, plus you’ll be able to afford a honeymoon.
“And how are we going to pull this off?”
What does Larry have that can cut through all of this, as if it were a slice of wedding cake?
***
“I’ll stay in the car, Charlie, and radio you if there are any cops.”
“Oh, no, I’m staying out here and you two will go in.”
“Charlie, let’s be realistic for a second. How much safe-cracking experience do you think I have?”
“Um…none?”
“And you know what kind of a thief I am. I shoplifted that one time when we were twelve and I got caught. Now, how much experience do you think I have with tools?”
“Fine, I get your point.”
“Why should we even cut her in, Charlie?”
“Hey, asshole, did you scout this place?”
“No bitch is going to talk to me—“
“Look, Myron! I’ll talk to you the way I like! I came up with the plan, I scouted this place and these are my fiancé’s tools! If anybody is a “bitch” around here, it’s you begging Charlie to cut you in on my job! Got it?”
“…Yeah.”
***
“Oh, man, look at this! There must be over $250,000 in loot!”
“Don’t open that bag until we’re out of here!”
“Yeah, sorry. Hey, Myron, don’t you have something to say to my cousin?”
“I’m sorry I disrespected you.”
“It’s all copacetic now, Myron.”
***
That was a beautiful wedding, if I say so myself. The reception is going to be a breeze, especially without Charlie there.
“I’m worried. Where is he?”
“Who are you talking to, Tammy?”
Shut up, Larry!
“Shut up, Larry!”
Uh-oh.
“’Uh-oh,’ is right. The cops.”
Three squad cars? Charlie or Myron gave us up, probably Myron because he really did strike me as a bitch. Have the driver stop behind the catering truck before the cops see us.
“Driver? Please pull up behind that truck.”
“What’s going on, Tammy?”
Don’t forget the passports and the money!
“Just get the suitcases out of the trunk, Larry.”
Tell me the keys are in the ignition.
“They left the keys in there, yes.”
“Tammy, who are you talking to?”
Shut up, Larry!
“Shut up, Larry and put the suitcases in this truck!”
***
“Honey, where are we going and why is that police car chasing us?”
The cake, it’s the only way.
“No.”
There’s no choice.
“Larry? Open the back door and dump the wedding cake in the road.”
“But, honey, are you going to slow down?”
“Fine.”
Yes, look at them spin! Let them eat cake and canyon!
“Why do I even listen to you? When have you ever been right about anything?”
Beats me, what do I know? I’m just a voice in your head and if you took your medication like you’re supposed to, I wouldn’t have to listen to me either.
Aldo, Gerald and Patti have created yet another flash fiction challenge-
In the early nineties, a book was published where each story shared a single concept: "a wedding cake in the middle of the road." None of those stories were flash fiction, but let's see what we can do with that idea in a limited number of words.
Stories should be around 750 words, but anything under 1000 wrds is good. You can set your wedding cake on a road on Mars, in Montana, or anywhere at all. In other words, all genres are welcome.
The "wedding cake in the road" can be the main idea or a sidebar-so long as it's in there--like the gun in Plots with Guns.
Mystery Dawg will publish stories on Powder Burn Flash where no blog is available.
A long time ago, I was going to do a story based on real-life drunken bride that went pugilstic on everyone in sight. Her "inner voice" that steered her wrong was retained, and I added that to a real life jewel heist that happened on The (San Francisco) Peninsula last winter.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Great Works of Literature, As Told By Twitter
The Telegraph UK has an article on how Tim Collins has broken down the works of some the greats into Twitter-sized pieces. For example-
Pride and Prejudice
janeaustin: Woman meets man called Darcy who seems horrible. He turns out to be nice really. They get together
Great Expectations
charlesdickens: Orphan given £££ by secret follower. He thinks it’s @misshavisham but it turns out to be @magwitch
Take a gander at the Telegraph article, and the book.
cbrown: BTW, this is just midweek filler. Because if you know me, you know that I'm anti-Twitter
Pride and Prejudice
janeaustin: Woman meets man called Darcy who seems horrible. He turns out to be nice really. They get together
Great Expectations
charlesdickens: Orphan given £££ by secret follower. He thinks it’s @misshavisham but it turns out to be @magwitch
Take a gander at the Telegraph article, and the book.
cbrown: BTW, this is just midweek filler. Because if you know me, you know that I'm anti-Twitter
Monday, June 1, 2009
Best Of: "They Call Her The Breeze"
Statistically, for every three people murdered in the United States, two of the victims will personally know or be acquainted with their murderer. If you’re in a musical trio, or in a car pool, don’t look at one of your fellow musicians or commuters funny, or say the wrong thing. You don’t want to become another statistic.
Worse yet, more often than not, the system is set up so either the evidence must be more overwhelming than merely solid, to get a conviction. Or if there is a conviction, the punishment often, doesn’t fit the crime. So justice sometimes fails as a deterrent to both crime and murder.
It’s hard to feel safe as a woman in America, and I feel even less than safe because with my job, I have to frequently move. I did extensive research on this neighborhood before I even moved to this town, then I narrowed down the blocks that I found to be ideal. One house met my criteria and even looked picture perfect in the daytime.
At night? That was something entirely different. I found that there certain shadows that wouldn’t be cast out, no matter where I put my halogen lamps. When the sun went down and all the heat escaped to the attic, the house would moan and creak with the contractions of the wooden walls. The floors often sounded like someone was trying to sneak up on me, where there was no one to be found.
Amazingly, I was used to all this. This was my fifth move in as many years. It took me a few days to unpack and get situated, then two more to find the perfect jogging path. My chin-up bar, I kept in my bedroom closet, along with my free weights. After a week, I had to find a steady job to pay my bills. The job that should’ve been started, was at a standstill. It looked like it was going to take longer than I had anticipated.
I was always careful to jog in the same place, at the same time and stroll the same area at night. I decided to keep to myself and not socialize too much with the locals, because in the last town, that complicated my job. I practiced the few self-defense moves that I knew, who knows when they’ll come in handy?
It was an unseasonably hot evening that October, I had to open a few windows because the air was stagnating. I came out of the shower, all nice and relaxed. I slipped into a tee and some shorts, then I decided to sit in front of the living room window as a nice breeze was blowing against that side of the house.
As I flopped onto the couch, I realized that the center window was up higher than I had left it. I tensed, but before I could get up, I felt a sharp blade prick the left-side of my neck.
“Don’t scream…don’t move. Keep quiet and I won’t have to hurt you. If you understand me, say so, quietly.”
“Yes,” I whispered with a voice that sounded far more scared than I felt. I was actually quite calm.
“We’re going to go into the bedroom and you’re going to keep quiet. This will be over sooner than you think, if you don’t scream and you do exactly what I say.”
I took a deep breath, then I slowly got up. He had to shift the knife to keep it on me and I knew he would be leaning forward. I spun just as the knife went back a couple of inches and he stepped over the back of the couch with his right foot. He hesitated, they always do. His eyes went wide under his ski mask and he lunged forward with the knife.
I began with a simple aikido move using his own momentum and I turned his own knife back into him. His eyes went wider still, as the blade sunk into his chest. I used another aikido maneuver to grab him by his shirt and he fell on his own blade with a loud gasp. I smiled at the ease of this night.
I went over to the alcove to pick up my phone and call 911, when he grabbed me by my ankle. He was begging me to call him an ambulance, while he tried to find the handle of the knife. I kept an eye on him as I took the phone as I walked into the kitchen, where I grabbed a dish towel.
I looked as concerned as possible when I stood over him and said, “try to hang on, the ambulance is on its way.”
He said, “thanks," just as he had successfully found the hilt of the knife.
The concern on my face melted into another smile, and then, by God, I killed the son of a bitch. With the dish towel, I pushed down on the pommel of the knife and drove it in as far as it would go. I cursed myself for getting sloppy, mentally. If you saw as many horror movies as I had seen in my lifetime, you would know that the very first thing you do when the villain is down, is finish him.
I left the towel on top of him and went into the kitchen. I opened a drawer with my right foot, then grabbed one baggie, then another with my toes. One baggie was for the dish towel and the other was to open the back door, where I had a stash spot for any unplanned evidence in the yard. Then I worked myself up into hysterical fit and called the police.
With these small towns, it’s always open and shut with them, but I always like to make sure by leaving as little evidence as possible. The police interviewed me, taped off my house as a crime scene, while they put me up in a local motel. It never takes more than two days and at the end of the two days, I tell them that I simply have to move as soon as possible because I don’t feel safe in their town.
The easiest part is finding the paroled rapist and getting him to rise to the bait (though this one took longer than most). The hardest parts are the identity thefts that I have to perpetrate to protect my own identity. As well as wiping away all fingerprints and traces of me in the home before I move on.
This was originally a Friday Flash Fiction piece and JJ's starter sentence was, "and then, by God, I killed the son of a bitch." It's odd if you consider that the title was taken from what I originally thought was a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, but it turns out that JJ Cale originally wrote it. Wow, the name "JJ" came full circle.
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I miss Friday Flash Fiction. The closest thing to it is when Aldo, Gerald and Patti have a flash fiction challenge (there's one coming up a few days from now), but they have to limit it to every three or four months. If the writing deadlines didn't crop here and there, I would revive the Friday Flash.
Worse yet, more often than not, the system is set up so either the evidence must be more overwhelming than merely solid, to get a conviction. Or if there is a conviction, the punishment often, doesn’t fit the crime. So justice sometimes fails as a deterrent to both crime and murder.
It’s hard to feel safe as a woman in America, and I feel even less than safe because with my job, I have to frequently move. I did extensive research on this neighborhood before I even moved to this town, then I narrowed down the blocks that I found to be ideal. One house met my criteria and even looked picture perfect in the daytime.
At night? That was something entirely different. I found that there certain shadows that wouldn’t be cast out, no matter where I put my halogen lamps. When the sun went down and all the heat escaped to the attic, the house would moan and creak with the contractions of the wooden walls. The floors often sounded like someone was trying to sneak up on me, where there was no one to be found.
Amazingly, I was used to all this. This was my fifth move in as many years. It took me a few days to unpack and get situated, then two more to find the perfect jogging path. My chin-up bar, I kept in my bedroom closet, along with my free weights. After a week, I had to find a steady job to pay my bills. The job that should’ve been started, was at a standstill. It looked like it was going to take longer than I had anticipated.
I was always careful to jog in the same place, at the same time and stroll the same area at night. I decided to keep to myself and not socialize too much with the locals, because in the last town, that complicated my job. I practiced the few self-defense moves that I knew, who knows when they’ll come in handy?
It was an unseasonably hot evening that October, I had to open a few windows because the air was stagnating. I came out of the shower, all nice and relaxed. I slipped into a tee and some shorts, then I decided to sit in front of the living room window as a nice breeze was blowing against that side of the house.
As I flopped onto the couch, I realized that the center window was up higher than I had left it. I tensed, but before I could get up, I felt a sharp blade prick the left-side of my neck.
“Don’t scream…don’t move. Keep quiet and I won’t have to hurt you. If you understand me, say so, quietly.”
“Yes,” I whispered with a voice that sounded far more scared than I felt. I was actually quite calm.
“We’re going to go into the bedroom and you’re going to keep quiet. This will be over sooner than you think, if you don’t scream and you do exactly what I say.”
I took a deep breath, then I slowly got up. He had to shift the knife to keep it on me and I knew he would be leaning forward. I spun just as the knife went back a couple of inches and he stepped over the back of the couch with his right foot. He hesitated, they always do. His eyes went wide under his ski mask and he lunged forward with the knife.
I began with a simple aikido move using his own momentum and I turned his own knife back into him. His eyes went wider still, as the blade sunk into his chest. I used another aikido maneuver to grab him by his shirt and he fell on his own blade with a loud gasp. I smiled at the ease of this night.
I went over to the alcove to pick up my phone and call 911, when he grabbed me by my ankle. He was begging me to call him an ambulance, while he tried to find the handle of the knife. I kept an eye on him as I took the phone as I walked into the kitchen, where I grabbed a dish towel.
I looked as concerned as possible when I stood over him and said, “try to hang on, the ambulance is on its way.”
He said, “thanks," just as he had successfully found the hilt of the knife.
The concern on my face melted into another smile, and then, by God, I killed the son of a bitch. With the dish towel, I pushed down on the pommel of the knife and drove it in as far as it would go. I cursed myself for getting sloppy, mentally. If you saw as many horror movies as I had seen in my lifetime, you would know that the very first thing you do when the villain is down, is finish him.
I left the towel on top of him and went into the kitchen. I opened a drawer with my right foot, then grabbed one baggie, then another with my toes. One baggie was for the dish towel and the other was to open the back door, where I had a stash spot for any unplanned evidence in the yard. Then I worked myself up into hysterical fit and called the police.
With these small towns, it’s always open and shut with them, but I always like to make sure by leaving as little evidence as possible. The police interviewed me, taped off my house as a crime scene, while they put me up in a local motel. It never takes more than two days and at the end of the two days, I tell them that I simply have to move as soon as possible because I don’t feel safe in their town.
The easiest part is finding the paroled rapist and getting him to rise to the bait (though this one took longer than most). The hardest parts are the identity thefts that I have to perpetrate to protect my own identity. As well as wiping away all fingerprints and traces of me in the home before I move on.
This was originally a Friday Flash Fiction piece and JJ's starter sentence was, "and then, by God, I killed the son of a bitch." It's odd if you consider that the title was taken from what I originally thought was a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, but it turns out that JJ Cale originally wrote it. Wow, the name "JJ" came full circle.
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I miss Friday Flash Fiction. The closest thing to it is when Aldo, Gerald and Patti have a flash fiction challenge (there's one coming up a few days from now), but they have to limit it to every three or four months. If the writing deadlines didn't crop here and there, I would revive the Friday Flash.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Blogpourri: Part III
Ah yes, "Blogpourri: Part III." And just like Al Pacino and Silvio from "The Sopranos," just when you thought you were out...I'll pull you back in. Of course, unlike "The Godfather: Part III," it won't take up over two hours of your time and there will be no critics savaging Sofia Coppola here.
Since I opened this posting with a crime reference, let's kick this off with the most relentless crime fighter this side of Batman and the most tenacious detective this side of Inspector Jalvert, Bubs. Bubs has hit the big time with Arresting Tales! We're talking about a blogger being sponsored by the Chicago Tribune's Media Company and Joe Bubs shows you what life is like from his side of the badge. Believe you me, it's not all about taking your sunglasses off and making inane quips, à la David Caruso.
Next, I give you Quin, and I give you Veronica. Two writers that in the original vernacular, "school me on a regular basis." Unlike most of us who put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, their writing evolves and improves with every piece.
First, just as this blog was originally designed to be, Quin has all of her published online work one one blog. It's all Quin, all the time, with better quality overall than Video On Demand, and unlike the cable companies, she won't put a dent in your wallet.
Next, after a two week-hiatus, Veronica is back. Two weeks is too long, but hey, I won't complain if she follows it up with a post every two days (please?).
Since I opened this posting with a crime reference, let's kick this off with the most relentless crime fighter this side of Batman and the most tenacious detective this side of Inspector Jalvert, Bubs. Bubs has hit the big time with Arresting Tales! We're talking about a blogger being sponsored by the Chicago Tribune's Media Company and Joe Bubs shows you what life is like from his side of the badge. Believe you me, it's not all about taking your sunglasses off and making inane quips, à la David Caruso.
Next, I give you Quin, and I give you Veronica. Two writers that in the original vernacular, "school me on a regular basis." Unlike most of us who put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, their writing evolves and improves with every piece.
First, just as this blog was originally designed to be, Quin has all of her published online work one one blog. It's all Quin, all the time, with better quality overall than Video On Demand, and unlike the cable companies, she won't put a dent in your wallet.
Next, after a two week-hiatus, Veronica is back. Two weeks is too long, but hey, I won't complain if she follows it up with a post every two days (please?).
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Mental Wall
For some reason, right around 5:45 this morning, I hit a mental wall.
Be assured, as physics dictates, the wall will always win.
Be assured, as physics dictates, the wall will always win.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Blogpourri Redux
Corey Wilde's interview with David Zeltserman is here and it is a must read for fans, and non-fans of crime fiction. We're talking not only his books, but a nice little foray into the publishing world. My favorite excerpt-
It’s also interesting that publishers have no problem publishing subversive dark books if they’re labeled literary, such as what Chuck Palahniuk’s been writing. It’s only when the books are labeled mystery/crime that they blanch at this and don’t trust their readers with anything other than what they consider safe books.
I just read Palahniuk's "Snuff" last week and I couldn't agree with him more.
The King is dead, long live The King. If you missed Paul D Brazill's (a.k.a. Sir Paulie Decibels deHartlepool) "Swamplands" on Flashshot, A Twist of Noir has reissued it.
Last but not least, The Missus has created two-
new
necklaceseseses, necklai?*
*I know, I know, "necklaces."
It’s also interesting that publishers have no problem publishing subversive dark books if they’re labeled literary, such as what Chuck Palahniuk’s been writing. It’s only when the books are labeled mystery/crime that they blanch at this and don’t trust their readers with anything other than what they consider safe books.
I just read Palahniuk's "Snuff" last week and I couldn't agree with him more.
The King is dead, long live The King. If you missed Paul D Brazill's (a.k.a. Sir Paulie Decibels deHartlepool) "Swamplands" on Flashshot, A Twist of Noir has reissued it.
Last but not least, The Missus has created two-
newnecklaceseseses, necklai?*
*I know, I know, "necklaces."
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Blogpourri Time
My friend, author, animator and illustrator Stephanie Olivieri has joined blogdom, with I'm Just Saying. Please drop on by place and welcome her to the Blogosphere.
For Bubs? What could've been. Nick Cave has allegedly wrote a great sequel script to "Gladiator" and Russell Crowe was all for it, but the studios nixed the deal. I'll say this; Nick Cave wrote the best damn Australian western I have ever seen in "The Proposition," and it could've been just as easy to make the movie about Maximus's brother.
Gary Dobbs is on Crimewav this week, reading Rhondda Noir.
Last, but not least; tomorrow, Corey Wilde will be interviewing David Zeltserman, the author of "Pariah." Corey's review had convinced me to put "Pariah" on my October TBR pile.
For Bubs? What could've been. Nick Cave has allegedly wrote a great sequel script to "Gladiator" and Russell Crowe was all for it, but the studios nixed the deal. I'll say this; Nick Cave wrote the best damn Australian western I have ever seen in "The Proposition," and it could've been just as easy to make the movie about Maximus's brother.
Gary Dobbs is on Crimewav this week, reading Rhondda Noir.
Last, but not least; tomorrow, Corey Wilde will be interviewing David Zeltserman, the author of "Pariah." Corey's review had convinced me to put "Pariah" on my October TBR pile.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Katie Schwartz, I presume
Becker and Fagen got it wrong, Katie didn't lie, she merely changed blogging engines.
No, you're still not listening, it was Elvis that left the building, Katie is still here.
Now everything you wanted to know about Farmhouse editor, author extraordinaire, fighter of evil, and my best online for forever, Katie Schwartz, is at a new blogging address at http://katieschwartz.wordpress.com. That's http://katieschwartz.wordpress.com/, please make a note of it.
No, you're still not listening, it was Elvis that left the building, Katie is still here.
Now everything you wanted to know about Farmhouse editor, author extraordinaire, fighter of evil, and my best online for forever, Katie Schwartz, is at a new blogging address at http://katieschwartz.wordpress.com. That's http://katieschwartz.wordpress.com/, please make a note of it.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Dave Eggers Says Don't Give Up Hope
In the Book Bench section in the online version of The New Yorker Magazine, Dave Eggers has a message to writers, publishers and readers...don't give up hope.
To any of you who are feeling down, and saying, “Oh, no one’s reading anymore”: Walk into 826 (Valencia) on any afternoon. There are no screens there, it’s all paper, it’s all students working shoulder to shoulder invested in their work, writing down something, thinking their work might get published. They put it all on the page, and they think, “Well, if this person who works next to me cares so much about what I’m writing, and they’re going to publish it in their next anthology or newspaper or whatever, then I’m going to invest so much more in it.” And then meanwhile, they’re reading more than I did at their age. …
Nothing has changed! The written word—the love of it and the power of the written word—it hasn’t changed. It’s a matter of fostering it, fertilizing it, not giving up on it, and having faith.
To any of you who are feeling down, and saying, “Oh, no one’s reading anymore”: Walk into 826 (Valencia) on any afternoon. There are no screens there, it’s all paper, it’s all students working shoulder to shoulder invested in their work, writing down something, thinking their work might get published. They put it all on the page, and they think, “Well, if this person who works next to me cares so much about what I’m writing, and they’re going to publish it in their next anthology or newspaper or whatever, then I’m going to invest so much more in it.” And then meanwhile, they’re reading more than I did at their age. …
Nothing has changed! The written word—the love of it and the power of the written word—it hasn’t changed. It’s a matter of fostering it, fertilizing it, not giving up on it, and having faith.
Friday, May 22, 2009
I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream At Sp*m, Because It's Obscene
I'm not going to tell sp*mmers how to improve their sp*m, but I will say this...
...putting, "I am very urgently waiting for your response" in the email's title, will not win me over. It is not the email equivalent of flowers, dinner and a movie; it's just not doing it for me. It is the email equivalent of picking a flower out of my neighbor's front yard, because you are too cheap to even buy those wilted, moldering discount supermarket flowers with the price tag still attached.
I tell you what, Mister or Missus Too Lazy To Use Grammar Check? I myself, am "very urgently waiting" to be recognized as a literary tour de force, and "I am very urgently waiting to win the lotto." If either of these come through for me? Well, I will "very urgently," actually answer your sp*m and send you $1,000, no questions asked.
Please note that I will choose the denomination, which will most likely be, the rustiest, crustiest and greenest pennies I can find. Please also note that these funds will arrive at your destination in a heavy duty chest that is chained and crossed chained, with locks that have been welded shut. Finally, note that this $1,000 will be promptly conveyed to you, after you deposit fifteen thousand U.S. Dollars into my bank account. Just because I will be either rich or famous, or hopefully some wonderful combination of both, doesn't mean I'm picking up the tab.
Sp*mmers? I very urgently await your response.
Yours truly,
Cormac "S.O.B." Brown
...putting, "I am very urgently waiting for your response" in the email's title, will not win me over. It is not the email equivalent of flowers, dinner and a movie; it's just not doing it for me. It is the email equivalent of picking a flower out of my neighbor's front yard, because you are too cheap to even buy those wilted, moldering discount supermarket flowers with the price tag still attached.
I tell you what, Mister or Missus Too Lazy To Use Grammar Check? I myself, am "very urgently waiting" to be recognized as a literary tour de force, and "I am very urgently waiting to win the lotto." If either of these come through for me? Well, I will "very urgently," actually answer your sp*m and send you $1,000, no questions asked.
Please note that I will choose the denomination, which will most likely be, the rustiest, crustiest and greenest pennies I can find. Please also note that these funds will arrive at your destination in a heavy duty chest that is chained and crossed chained, with locks that have been welded shut. Finally, note that this $1,000 will be promptly conveyed to you, after you deposit fifteen thousand U.S. Dollars into my bank account. Just because I will be either rich or famous, or hopefully some wonderful combination of both, doesn't mean I'm picking up the tab.
Sp*mmers? I very urgently await your response.
Yours truly,
Cormac "S.O.B." Brown
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
"So Deaf" Is On Powder Burn Flash
My story "So Deaf" was just posted on Powder Burn Flash.com this morning and this story is bitter sweet for me. The stalwart station of San Francisco Bay Area jazz, KKSF has shut down the terrestrial station and now its presence will be strictly online. Though I haven't listened to the station as much as a I used to, it was still my main non-classical music refuge when I was driving.
Until last year, they had the "Jazz Cafe" on Sunday nights, which was a link to KJAZ in both spirit and in the audio flesh, with a former KJAZ dj running the show. Corporate radio is going to force me by default to switch to Sirius/XM, bastards.
Anyway, the tie-in to my story is that the protagonist is on his way to a jazz club in The Fillmore district here in San Francisco, when he gets a call for assistance. You see, Sgt. Hewitt works with the Gang Suppression Unit and there has just been a shooting not too far from his destination. This my first police procedural, so please, take a look at "So Deaf."
Be assured that like me, my character Sgt. Hewitt had KKSF on his radio before he got the call.
Until last year, they had the "Jazz Cafe" on Sunday nights, which was a link to KJAZ in both spirit and in the audio flesh, with a former KJAZ dj running the show. Corporate radio is going to force me by default to switch to Sirius/XM, bastards.
Anyway, the tie-in to my story is that the protagonist is on his way to a jazz club in The Fillmore district here in San Francisco, when he gets a call for assistance. You see, Sgt. Hewitt works with the Gang Suppression Unit and there has just been a shooting not too far from his destination. This my first police procedural, so please, take a look at "So Deaf."
Be assured that like me, my character Sgt. Hewitt had KKSF on his radio before he got the call.
Monday, May 18, 2009
An inside look at Super Editor Katherine Tomlinson via Inside Look Magazine
When she's not putting Astonishing Adventures Magazine together or handling coverage for production companies from virtually every corner of the world, Super Editor Katherine Tomlinson writes as well.
The May/June issue of Inside Look features sacred places and Katherine wrote a wonderful article about Machu Picchu. Go to the bottom left and click "Machu Picchu, Emerald City In The Clouds."
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